Stop Treating “Investors” Like a Single Species

Investors aren’t a monolith.

Saying “we’re talking to investors” is like saying “we’re recruiting athletes.” Great—do they play tennis or rugby? Are we buying sprinters or marathoners? If you pitch everyone the same, you fit no one— and mismatched money means no money.

Just like a hungry person wanting to be fed: every good investor has a specific appetite. Your job is to match the meal to the mouth.

The Investor Fit Matrix

• Instrument: Debt / Equity / Hybrid (convertible, SAFE, revenue share)

• Horizon: Short (≤18 months) / Medium (2–5 yrs) / Long (5+ yrs)

• Risk Profile: Conservative / Balanced / Aggressive

• Cheque Size: Micro (≤£25k) / Mid (£25k–£250k) / Large (£250k–£2m) / Institutional (≥£2m)

• Use of Funds: Working capital / Growth / Acquisition / Capex / Bridge

• Collateral & Security: Asset-backed / Cash-flow / Personal guarantees / None

• Sector & Stage: Your niche, and Pre-seed / Seed / Growth / Mature / Special situations

• Control & Involvement: Hands-off / Board seat / Strategic heavy-lift

• Geography & Currency: Where do they deploy? In what currency?

• Proof Bar: Traction, margins, pipeline, covenants, exits—what boxes can you actually tick?

If you can’t answer those in one page, you’re not “investor-ready,” you’re “investor-annoying.”

Five common mismatches (and how to avoid them)

1. Equity pitch to debt brains.

   They want yield and downside protection; you’re waving hockey-stick slides. Fix: Lead with security, coverage ratios, and covenants—or don’t call them.

2. Short-term money for long-term problems.

   Funding a 36-month build with a 9-month bridge is how businesses die. Fix: Match horizon to cash cycle. Period.

3. Risk tourists.

   “We love innovation!” (…as long as it’s de-risked by three competitors doing it first.) Fix: Qualify their real risk tolerance with blunt questions: “Have you backed anything pre-profit this year?”

4. Wrong cheque size.

   Your £40k raise bores the fund who writes £1m minimums. Your £5m round terrifies the angel doing £10–25k spreads. Fix: Filter by minimum ticket before first call.

5. Control freaks vs. founders.

   Some investors need levers. Some just want dividends. Fix: State involvement expectations in the deck: “Capital + quarterly board, no operational control.”

Quick personas (so you stop guessing)

• The Yield Hawk (Debt)

  Wants security, covenants, and 12–18% gross. Hates blue-sky. Loves first charges and monthly reports.

  Lead with: LTV, coverage, asset values, default processes.

• The Swing-for-the-Fences (Equity)

  Chases 10x. Tolerates messy. Expects dilution and follow-ons.

  Lead with: Market size, unfair advantage, speed, exit logic.

• The Cash-Flow Conservative (Dividend/Quasi-Debt)

  Likes steady distributions from boring, cash-rich ops.

  Lead with: Unit economics, stability, downside cases.

• The Strategic Suit (Corporate/FO)

  Wants access, synergy, and options. Value > IRR on paper.

  Lead with: Strategic fit, pipeline access, co-build opportunities.

• The Angel Swarm (Crowded Cap Table)

  Spreads risk with £10–25k tickets. Buys the founder more than the model.

  Lead with: Story, momentum, social proof, clear minimum viable round.

If you send the same deck to all five, you’re not “efficient”—you’re lazy.

Your 30-minute fix (yes, actually do this)

1. Pick one persona above that best fits your raise.

2. Rewrite your headline slide to speak to their appetite. (Debt: “Secured 15% with first charge.” Equity: “£1→£10 via X in Y months.”)

3. Front-load the three proofs they care about most (security/coverage; or traction/GMV; or contracts/MRR).

4. Pre-qualify in outreach: “We’re raising £X via [debt/equity], [Y-month horizon], [risk profile], min ticket £Z. In mandate?”

5. Kill the rest. If they’re not a fit, don’t “nurture.” Move on.

Bottom line: There is no such thing as “the investor market.” There are only specific appetites. Match them—or starve.

—Matt

P.S. If you want to know how to create the perfect pitch deck to get your investors salivating then get yourself a discounted copy of my No Bollocks™ Pitch Deck Blueprint today - click ‘APPLY’ at the checkout to get 75% OFF!

P.P.S. Need me to help you narrow down the perfect investor profile? Introduce you to a fund? Or solve any other fundraising problems? Jump on a 15 minute call with me and let’s get you firing in the right direction. I have a limited number of discounted call slots available over the next 2 weeks. Book yours here!